The Question We Should Be Asking (An introduction)

John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. 

If you abide in me and I in you, 

you will bear much fruit; 

apart from me you can do nothing.

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“Abide in me…”

This profound invitation from Jesus to His followers comes with it a sobering promise:

“For apart from me, you can do…”

Wait for it… here it is…

“…Nothing.” 

Can I be honest? 

It’s been a long time since I have felt so helpless. 

As a pastor, my work is both highly spiritual and highly relational. During the week my occupation ebbs-and-flows between the two, but on Sundays, the two crescendo in a beautiful symphony. A few months ago much of my vocation would culminate at 831 3rd St in Encinitas when numerous faces would gather on, what the early Church Fathers would call “The Lord’s Day”. I loved it! The worship band. My Philz decaf Mint Mojito. Preaching. Hugs. Kids running in the grass. The mints in the bathroom. In-N-Out on the way home. Most of all God’s people and presence. All of it! 

So, in the middle of March, when our Sunday Gathering was suspended for, what would turned out to be months, much of my vocational, spiritual and relational equilibrium became severely disoriented.

It feels embarrassing even to write this because I know all the truisms that “The Church is not a building, it’s a people”, that “The early church met in homes”. I knew all these things…

But something in me felt vulnerable and exposed. 

I quickly charged into reading everything I could online, spending countless hours on the phone with other pastors. “what are you doing?”, “What’s working?”, “Have you seen what “Super Awesome Church” is doing?” 

The “research” I was doing was silently turning into comparison which was leading to a sense of not doing enough, a sense of not being enough. 

A month into the quarantine I felt discouraged, to say the least.

Two conversations changed everything for me:

1. I was on a Zoom meeting with other pastors from around the country and Jon Tyson, who pastors Church Of The City in NYC, chimed in and said. 

“Everyone is asking what the Church should do, what we SHOULD be asking is ‘What is God saying.’”

This was one of those moments where everything inside me wanted to shout “YES!” There was something so simple and so profound that I had totally been missing. You see, I had been leaning on finding a new strategy rather than leaning on the timeless and ever-present Spirit of God.

I felt like a dry sponge being immersed in this much-needed truth.

2. The next Sunday was Easter.  I sat in my living room with my kids, already hyped up on Peeps and Jelly Beans and I was watching myself preach on our TV (It’s as weird as you could imagine) and frankly I was soooo bored. I probably shouldn’t say that, but I was. It wasn’t the content, it was me. I kept thinking, “come on Benji! Be more entertaining and engaging!” Later that night I tuned into Bridgetown Church’s online service, broadcasting from Portland, questioning how were doing as a church in his crisis. John Mark Comer, who is a pastor I deeply admire, was speaking on The Apostle John’s revelation of the glorified Jesus in Revelation chapter one. In short, he talked about how the entire passage is laid out in a Chiastic Structure which simply put, places the main point in the middle of the poem rather than at the beginning or end. With this Jewish writing style, the central characteristic of the resurrected Jesus is one who SPEAKS! It’s His voice! This was John’s central image of the King of King’s and Lord of Lords! A God who is still speaking. 

I started to tear up in my kitchen.

In a season of feeling so helpless, not only for myself but really for the people that I have the privilege of shepherding, I was reminded of that truth again…

Jesus is speaking!

Two weeks later I had a conversation with John Mark about his Easter sermon, and I was able to share the significance of what the Holy Spirit spoke to me through his talk, coupled with the encouraging words of Jon Tyson earlier in that same week. What he said next I will never forget. He shared with me that he got his exegetical notes from Darrell Johnson’s book “Discipleship on the Edge” and through a conversation he had with Johnson he told him something profound, that he then relayed to me. 

“As pastors, our greatest job is to teach our people to listen.”

At that moment, my pastoral mission came into alignment. If those words were true, then my work three months ago did not differ much from my work today. 

We can do nothing apart from Him! We must abide. We must listen.

I am once again taking up the invitation of Jesus, to “Abide in Him” as my personal and pastoral ambition. 

This global pandemic, the economic devastation, the political and social turmoil can make us feel stuck and that we can do nothing. 

But according to Jesus… It’s only when we are not connected that we cannot do anything.

The beautiful invitation of Jesus has not changed and should be more compelling now more than ever. 

Abide in him!

My hope for these short writings is to journey with you as a student, not as a master, in what it means to make our home with Jesus. This is what abide means. The Greek word, meno, is the verb form of the word “home” or “abode”.

We are making our home with Jesus.

May we shelter at home in Him. 

I hope to continue writing on what it means to practice the “art of abiding” through prayer, contemplation, Scripture, worship, compassion, and so on. But for today, before we get into the mechanics, may we stop.

Wait.

Listen.

Turn our hearts toward the giver of life. Rest in the love of our Maker. Quiet the external and internal noises around us that we may hear the Spirit of God speak to our souls. 

Grace and peace,

Benji